Lost paths

Paths never to be walked again, roads i wont find interests looking down in the future… Visions vanishing, echoes fafing away… Names, memories,  smells and taste… Old wounds, valuable teachings… Parts of the story torn apart from the book,  rejected and thrown away. Lingering nostalgia right beneath the surface pulsating 

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Slipped through the fingers

Piece after piece I gave it away

When I didn’t know I was

When I did it willingly

When I was driven by it

When I felt I hadn’t much left

When it felt it was forever

When I feared it was just a moment

Against my better judgment

Against common sense

Against all odds

Through pain

Through storms, fogs and from miles and miles away

Now I can tell I don’t have any left in me

 

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These albums I can’t listen to anymore…

There are nights, nights that feel empty… Just memories, like vultures reluctant to leave a cadaver. This feeling crawling up the spine of my soul, every now and then, digging itself out of that hole,  the hole where I buried it. The pain surfaces once again, you are someone else, what have u become? U had to be cold to do it all… And now I’m numb to the bone. The music is not playing anymore, I don’t recognize these sounds… I dig deep down to try and feel, try and find that beast you unleashed on me and slay it, leave it dead like you left me bleeding on love’s pavement. I need to feel alive again,  I need to feel again. I ll never be the same, Sundays neither. On the inside, I feel like I’m losing my grip. No one knows what I feel, no one has the words to help out. When does it go away? When am I going to feel peace inside? I wish u could see what u made me today, I’d like to know if ur wildest dreams are worth the pain I live with today. And even then, would u tell me honestly? I was sacrificed, what was the price?

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Blur

I can’t explain
Every sound and word is a reminder
Every smell and sight is a kitchen knife
Protect my soul, don’t let it go sour
I ve been stabbed, deprived of life
Never felt like I had so much to say
Never knew words wouldn’t find their way
Lost all sense of direction
No logic in my actions
I couldn’t find my reason to save my soul
I’m empty. My words don’t resonate at all
And with them drawing my fall
I’m left with nothing to hold
The emptiness is to be accepted, I’m told
trapped in this moment against my will
As if I could flip a switch on how I feel
Let go of everything I feel is real
What’s the point of driving my mind ill
This came as a sentence with no appeal
These thoughts, my dear, they kill
I was robbed of everything
I’m tired, I’m on my knees,  bleeding
Every wound of my being screaming
A world of pain or a bottle in the sea
At some point u ll have to acknowledge me
no different than I was that winter night
When you had no desire to put up a fight
Now it’s long gone and I ll never feel right
Deep in my heart, ur only out of my sight

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1

There is no Magic

Teams were created for sports

Trust was never part of the politics that moved the world

Twins might be born the same day, same hour or even the same minute but they come out one after the other…

Understand that, you will understand the world… and eventually accept it

I am no longer under the illusion

1 is the most important number

1 is the one that matters

see things for exactly what they are:

Nothing more, Nothing less…

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Drops in the Dark

My lids have fallen down… its black…

In a last effort I try to gain clarity, see the big picture… its dark

I mean… its nothing

But far, there is something…

Something I can’t see, something I can’t quite hear…

But, there is something

It seems far, I feel its presence inside

It won’t give me peace

Like a stone between my heel and my shoe

I just took the road to happiness and my skin is slowly getting worn off

But… wait

It’s like a sound… a drop in a body of water

There’s been a few otherwise it wouldn’t be a body right?

So where is the proof?

All I can distinguish are repetitions, the noise of it, over and over

No

It’s the echo, amplified… where am I?

I can’t sense the north, nor the west, south or east

Like a broken compass

Maybe let the inside lead

What else do I have to guide me?

What if it’s like in one of those movies, Liam Neeson walking to the heart of the wolf territory?

Rationality, with no invitation stirs the pot

Mixed signals, find out, stay put, think, run for it, stay stealth… what the hell?

I’m stuck in the moment, between two drops

What do I trust, my instinct or my head?

Pandora’s Box for now, jack in the box soon enough

I’m blind, provide me a window

I want to shed some light, see the way through

The phoenix was reborn from his ashes but never anyone provided the gas

The fire is within, for the rebirth or to burn it dead

Everything stands still

Until the next drop

Everything stands still

Until the next noise

Everything stands still

Until I shock’ em with the one two

Everything stands still

Until I believe the drops are true

 

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Think About It…

It’s easy for the bone to shatter. The thing is, it’s not probable. The bone can take a beating, get bruised, or present scratches on the surface. So what defines the bone shattering blow? What elects the latest shock as the winner?

It’s like words in fact.

Some words can be thrown over and over into someone’s face. How long does it take before the snap? Before it all turns sour?

What prevents the snap for so long but yet when comes that very moment appears to be weak enough to let it happen?

 

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